What having avoidant personality disorder ( and social anxiety) means to me
* this is not for attention I just want to break the stigma al little bit by sharing some things about diagnosis and I don’t know how to explain my problems without sharing my diagnosis *
Hii, today I am sharing one of my 5 diagnoses and I am going to tell what the symptoms are and what they mean to me. I also have social anxiety I don’t fully know what the difference is but I am just going to tell some things about avoidant personality disorder. So I am going to tell what it means to me by going trough the criteria from the dsm-5.
1. Avoids occupational activities involving significant interpersonal contact, due to fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection I absolutely recognize myself in this one. I avoid to talk but you can’t be quiet the rest of your life so I am scared all the time especially when I am talking. And when I am not talking I am scared because I am ashamed of all the things I have said. I avoid meeting people but I try to do opposite actions (something I learned in dbt therapy I want to tell you more about that later in another blog post) I try to talk I try to meat people I try to dm people on Instagram etc
2. Is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of acceptance
there was a time I was seeing almost no one but I am trying to meet more people it is really hard but I am trying. It is also very difficult with COVID now.
3. Shows restraint within intimate relationships due to fears of shame or ridicule Yuppp, I am constantly thinking about what others will think about the way I sit, eat, talk etc
4. Preoccupied with fears of receiving criticism or rejection in social situations
One of my biggest fears is to get rejected or be abandoned. I am constantly scarced of getting critic or getting rejected or be abandoned. It really sucks.
5. Inhibited in new interpersonal situations due to feelings of inadequacy Yupp I am constantly thinking I am not doing enough for someone. I am constantly thinking I am not enough.
6. Considers self as inferior to others, socially inept, or personally unappealing yess I am hating myself a lot. And I think I can’t make friends. I constant think I can’t do anything at all.
7. Is unusually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing
Yes I am terrified of meeting new people I am terrified of every single thing that has something to do with people. Butttt I am slowly talking more I even did group therapy(!!!)
I hope you understand some more about avoidant personality disorder and what it means! lots of love, Madelon